It’s Been So Long….

I found this, and I felt it was worth sharing.  Apparently, there are lots of people with pain…

“I know how this works….you think you are better than others, and so you allow them to fall to your superiority.

It’s a stupid game I’ve played for most of my life–the trying to make every group happy in hopes I would fit with one of them.  It just never works.  It didn’t work when I was a kid, and it doesn’t work now.  It’s just become more painful as I’ve gotten older.  You really suck, and you know who you are.  It’s so easy to put people off.  They don’t fit, so don’t include them.  I’ve included everyone for fear of offending anyone.  You are not so brave.  You exclude anyone who isn’t quite like you.  The hurt is beyond what you will ever feel.  You are so protected.  You are better than I am.  You are more normal.  You #$*ing suck, and part of me can’t wait for you to feel my pain.  But I sit here and behave nicely.  That’s what nice people do.  They suck it up and move on.

I don’t know who will read this, but I bet that whoever reads my words has felt these feelings of betrayal and loss.  Obviously, the ones of whom I speak won’t read it.  They are busy with the perfection of their lives, or with belittling my life, and wouldn’t have time to read what someone else is feeling.  Get over it, you say.  Move on.”

I’m so sorry for your pain.  I have had it, too.  Good days and bad days….Some days are just like that.  It’s so much easier to keep our pain to ourselves, but sometimes, it is worth sharing with others.  Somehow, I think others might have felt her pain, too.

 

I am Susan…amazed by grace

7 Responses

  1. Liz
    Liz June 8, 2013 at 9:22 pm | | Reply

    I’m confused. 🙂

  2. Jo
    Jo June 8, 2013 at 10:29 pm | | Reply

    I think most of us have felt the same pain. I just never felt I had the right to expect better. And now, at my advanced age, I don’t care nearly as much. I care about her pain, of course, just not about my not fitting in. I just don’t. I okay with it.

  3. Krista Anderson
    Krista Anderson June 9, 2013 at 10:36 pm | | Reply

    I have felt that pain myself.

    Though pain is never fun, it is also good to know that you are not alone in feeling it. That is why sharing how you feel can be so beneficial; you never know who has felt the same way that may be listening.

  4. Judith
    Judith June 11, 2013 at 12:40 pm | | Reply

    Pain is never funny and we each one experience various intensity of pain. In retrospect, after the fact, when one can look back on events and the pain is less threatening, we can see more clearly and it loses its power. Comedians seize the exposure of what is funny after pain and that is why we eventually find the ability and satire of the situations we find ourselves to laugh at ourselves in due time. However, there are some things that remain so serious we must find ways to deal with those issues which are never funny and that is where we sometimes get “stuck” in our thought processes. The book pf Psalms is King David’s diary, if you will. He goes from one chapter of feeling very well about his life and circumstances and other chapters, he expresses deep thoughts of depression but He eventually finds his solace in God..

  5. Gayle Jordan
    Gayle Jordan June 11, 2013 at 10:21 pm | | Reply

    Sending a little love your way….xoxo

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