Who Can Remain Quiet?

Who Can Remain Quiet?

A couple of things about the event in Connecticut:

I really appreciate all of the sweet things people are saying about the children lost in the Connecticut shooting, but why is everyone posting things just about the children?  Are the adults less valued because they weren’t cute kids?  It has really bothered me that almost every post I’ve read, every cartoon drawn, every comment I’ve heard has left out the loss of the precious adults who chose to be there to educate and protect those children.  They were someone’s children, too.  Please, don’t forget the adults.

What is it that is contributing to the violent acts we’ve witnessed increasing in recent years?  There are many speculations, but I want to offer my own take on it.

We don’t care for people.  We try to fix people, but we don’t try to care for them.  We want to give a drug that will fix them, but we don’t want to give time to a long-term care plan that involves our being…involved.  Yes, there are people who are born ‘different’ and maybe there are people who have no chance of changing.  I can’t really speak to that, since I believe in my heart that there is good in everyone–it’s my thinking, and I’m allowed!  🙂


On the other hand, look at how we have evolved:


has been one of the biggest changes, though not the only questionable contributor. We went from a television being a nice thing for a family to a television being a necessity for every person in a house. — The shows that are aired portray life as it is not, and the viewers cannot always pull themselves back to reality.  Look at how many people felt like Luke and Laura were real people!

The News, The Movies and The TV Programs have lost almost all filters.  Things that come across the screen stay etched in a person’s mind long after the show is over.  When an adult chooses to watch graphic sex or horror or extreme violence, it is their choice.  Freedom of expression demands that parents control what the children watch, removing all responsibility from the parties airing the media, yet when a child demands that he/she be able to watch whatever they want, it is sometimes without the approval of a parent that they manage to watch.  They are just too young to be exposed to so much, and parents are not always in a position to police everything their children are watching.  This doesn’t begin to touch what the adults are watching and calling entertainment.  Those in the media business say it’s up to us to choose what’s right for us.  If only it always worked–people believe something will be good because the creator says it will be—so who’s at fault: the creator for lying or the public for believing?

The bigger man wins–

We can pollute the air, the water, the food all in the name of progress with no real care for how the toxins are changing people’s brains and bodies.  All that matters is that the man with the deepest pockets gets his way.  Where is basic compassion and concern for how one’s actions are affecting other people?  There are lots of reports showing  the negative effect toxins have on humans, yet it’s really of no concern to the people making their living at another’s expense.  Maybe that’s just human nature, maybe it’s not.  Survival of the fittest?

Head in the Sand–

The thing that has bothered me the most, though, as I’ve heard people discuss the horrible incident in Connecticut, is the outrage people have about too many guns and the lack of God in schools.  I am not disputing your outrage, though I believe the gun-issue is not the issue.  But I wonder…Where is your outrage that there are drugs in schools?  Where is the outrage that teachers say “There’s nothing you can do about it.  We all know they’re doing it.”?  Why does it have to be a massive event for people to get angry and want to make changes?  Why aren’t you angry and taking action at the ‘smaller’ incidents that take place in schools every single day?  It took big bullying issues, some of which resulted in suicides, to finally get that noticed.

It’s like when I need people in my family to help me with something…I can ask nicely, I can make suggestions, I can blow up.  Guess which one gets results?  When I blow a gasket, they listen.  It makes me crazy that it gets to that point.  So, I guess the public can see statistics for drug use among students and let it go…it’s such a quiet problem.  It takes a major blow-up for people to take notice.

Maybe it’s time that each one of us looks around at what seem to be problems for youth, for families, for friends, and perhaps even for strangers…and instead of going about our business because it ‘doesn’t concern me’ we take time to reach out and risk getting involved–and risk making a difference.  Maybe if you start with one school, one town, one county, one state…maybe you’ll effect one country.  You can be sure you will effect more than one person in a positive way.

You don’t have to travel to the other side of the world or even to other parts of the country to ‘do good’ for others, though I realize Mission Trips hold a lot of appeal.  You can start in your own home, your own neighborhood, your own town…and then move forward from there.




 Six women who worked at Sandy Hook Elementary were killed, in addition to 20 students — twelve girls and eight boys — according to state police.

Here are details about their lives:

Charlotte Bacon, 6

Charlotte was sweet, outgoing and full of energy, her grandmother told CNN affiliate WCCO in Minnesota.

“This is tough. This is surreal. You can’t believe this could happen,” Irene Hagen told the network. “The whole family is just devastated and we’re all trying to come to terms with it.”

She said her granddaughter loved school and dresses. Her hair was a mass of beautiful red curls.

“It’s horrible. It’s really horrible,” Hagen told WCCO. “It’s hard to believe that someone would kill children, innocent children.”

Rachel D’Avino, 29

She likely didn’t know it when she died, but her best friend was about to propose.

He had recently asked Rachel’s parents for permission, and he was planning to ask for her hand in marriage on Christmas Eve.

That and other details about Rachel’s life were described in an obituary posted on the website of Munson-Lovetere Funeral Homes of Connecticut.

“Her presence and tremendous smile brightened any room she entered,” it read.

Born in Waterbury, Rachel received her undergraduate degree from the University of Hartford and her Masters from Post University. She was working toward her Doctorate at the University of St. Joseph of Hartford.

Rachel loved karate, cooking, animals, photography and her two younger siblings.

“Her passion, however, was her occupation as a behavioral therapist working with children within the autism spectrum,” the obituary read.

In lieu of flowers, it asked that donations be made to Autism Speaks, an advocay organization.

Olivia Engel, 6

Her favorite stuffed animal was a lamb; pink and purple were her favorite colors.

Olivia’s family posted a statement on Facebook with those and other details about their beloved daughter.

“She was insightful for her age and had a great sense of humor. She laughed a lot and always lit up a room including the people around her. She was very creative and was always drawing and designing things,” her family said.

Olivia took art and dance lessons, played tennis, soccer and swam. She was involved in Girl Scouts and musical theater. She loved school and did well in math and reading.

Her family described her as a “grateful child … never greedy.” Each night, Olivia led grace at the dinner table.

Dylan Hockley, 6

“To know him was to love him,” Dylan’s grandmother told the Boston Herald about her grandson.

Dylan loved video games, jumping on a trampoline, watching movies and munching garlic bread, she said. He had dimples, blue eyes and “the most mischievous little grin,” Theresa Moretti told the newspaper.

She said her daughter and son-in-law moved to Connecticut from England and chose to live where they did because of the schools. Dylan had an older brother.

“He was an angel,” Moretti told the Herald. “And I think that’s now why he’s in heaven.”

Dawn Lafferty Hochsprung, 47

Hochsprung, who became Sandy Hook Elementary School’s principal two years ago, was “really nice and very fun, but she was also very much a tough lady in the right sort of sense,” friend Tom Prunty said. And the students loved her. “Even little kids know when someone cares about them, and that was her,” Prunty said.

“I never saw her without a smile,” said Aimee Seaver, mother of a first-grader.

Hochsprung lived in Woodbury, Connecticut, with her husband, two daughters and three stepdaughters.

The longtime career educator majored in special education for her bachelor’s and master’s degrees in the 1990s and had just entered the Ph.D. program at Esteves School of Education at the Sage Colleges in New York last summer. Hochsprung led a school district’s strategic planning panel and was the recipient of a national school grant.

Her accomplishments included overseeing the installation of a new security system requiring every visitor to ring the front entrance’s doorbell after the school doors locked at 9:30 a.m.

“My mom, Dawn Hochsprung, was taken tragically from me. But she went down in a blaze of glory that truly represents who she was,” her daughter, Cristina Hassinger, tweeted.

Jesse Lewis, 6

Jesse loved math, riding horses and playing at his mom’s farm, his father told the New York Post.

“He was just a happy boy,” said Neil Heslin. “Everybody knew Jesse.”

He told the newspaper his son was to make gingerbread houses at school Friday. Heslin was planning to help.

Instead, the last time he saw his son was when he dropped him off at school at 9 a.m.

“He was going to go places in life,” Heslin told the Post.

Ana Marquez-Greene, 6

“1, 2, 3, ready and go,” Ana counts down in a homemade video provided to CNN affiliate WTIC.

The girl in pigtails stands in front of a piano as her brother plays. Her voice is clear, bigger than her size. Ana smiles and waves.

Her father, Jimmy Greene, is a jazz musician. His representative released a statement on Ana’s death, describing the little girl as “beautiful and vibrant.”

“The family has requested privacy at this time of heartbreaking loss,” it read. They “have asked us to relay their sincere gratitude for the outpouring of support and sympathy locally, nationally and internationally.”

Grace McDonnell, 7

The ultimate “girly girl.” Grace loved wearing pink and playing dress-up with jewelry, her grandmother told the Boston Herald.

As Mary Ann McDonnell spoke, she was surrounded by Christmas presents meant for Grace, Gracie, as she was sometimes called.

The little girl loved art, gymnastics, soccer and her small spaniel, Puddin’, her grandmother said.

“She was a wonderful little girl. She was always smiling,” McDonnell told the newspaper. “I think everybody should know about these beautiful children whose lives were cut short.”

Anne Marie Murphy, 52

A hero. That’s how a first responder reportedly described Murphy to her father.

He told Newsday that authorities told him her body was found in a classroom, covering young children killed in the shooting in an apparent attempt to shield them.

“She died doing what she loved. She was serving children and serving God,” Murphy’s mother, Alice McGowan, told the newspaper.

A married mother of four, Murphy was artistic and hardworking, her parents said.

“She was a happy soul,” her mother told Newsday. “She was a very good daughter, a good mother, a good wife.”

Emilie Parker, 6

She could “light up a room,” Emilie’s father said about his oldest daughter.

Robbie Parker described her as “bright, creative and very loving.” Emilie was always willing to try new things, he said, except food. Her laugh was infectious.

“My daughter Emilie would be one of the first ones to be standing up and giving her love and support to all of those victims, because that is the type of person she is,” said Parker.

He said she was “an exceptional artist and she always carried around her markers and pencils so she never missed an opportunity to draw a picture or make a card for someone.”

“This world is a better place because she has been in it,” Parker said.

Emilie’s aunt described her niece as the “sweetest little girl I’ve ever known.”

The family is devastated that “someone so beautiful and perfect is no longer going to be in our lives and for no reason,” said Jill Cottle Garrett.

Emilie’s father, who works as a physician’s assistant in the newborn unit at the Danbury hospital, recalled his last conversation with his daughter was in Portuguese, a language he was teaching her.

“She said that she loved me, and I gave her a kiss and I was out the door,” he said.

Noah Pozner, 6

“He had a huge heart and he was so much fun, a little bit rambunctious, lots of spirit,” Noah’s aunt told CNN. “He was really the light of the room.”

Victoria Haller said her nephew loved playing with his cousins and siblings, especially his twin sister.

“He was a gorgeous, gorgeous boy and he could really get what he wanted just by batting those long eyelashes and looking at you with those big blue eyes. You really couldn’t say no to him,” she said.

His siblings don’t know yet the exact way in which Noah passed away, Haller said.

“How do you tell them that’s how their brother died?” she asked. “It’s the unthinkable really.”

Jessica Rekos, 6

Jessica loved everything about horses — horse movies, horse books, drawing horses and writing stories about them.

She asked Santa this year for new cowgirl boots and a cowgirl hat. Her family had promised she could get her own horse when she turned 10.

“She was a creative, beautiful, little girl,” her family said in a statement, describing Jessica as their “rock.”

“She had an answer for everything, she didn’t miss a trick, and she outsmarted us every time. We called her our little CEO for the way she carefully thought out and planned everything,” they said. “We can not imagine our life without her.”

Jessica also loved orca whales and playing with her two little brothers.

“We are mourning her loss, sharing our beautiful memories we have of her, and trying to help her brother Travis understand why he can’t play with his best friend,” her family said.

Lauren Rousseau, 30

Rousseau, a permanent substitute teacher at Sandy Hook Elementary, “wanted to be a teacher from before she even went to kindergarten,” her mother said in a written statement Saturday. “We will miss her terribly and will take comfort knowing that she had achieved that dream,” Teresa Rousseau said.

She grew up in Danbury, Connecticut, and earned a bachelor’s degree from the University of Connecticut and a master’s degree in elementary education from the University of Bridgeport.

Rousseau “worked as a substitute teacher in Danbury, New Milford and Newtown before she was hired in November as a permanent substitute teacher at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown,” her mother said.

Mary Sherlach, 56

Sherlach, Sandy Hook Elementary’s school psychologist, was with Hochsprung when they heard a “pop, pop, pop” sound around 9:30 a.m., a parent with both women at the time told CNN. Sherlach was shot to death after heading into the hall to find out what was happening.

“I … am always ready to assist in problem-solving, intervention and prevention,” Sherlach wrote on her website.

Sherlach earned her undergraduate degree in psychology at SUNY Cortland and a master’s degree at Southern Connecticut State University. She worked as a rehabilitation assistant at a group home for disabled adults and as a community mental health placement specialist before becoming a school psychologist.

She worked in three Connecticut school systems before moving to Sandy Hook Elementary in 1994. During her time in Newtown, Sherlach kept busy as a member of numerous groups such as the district conflict resolution committee, safe school climate committee, crisis intervention team and student instructional team.

Sherlach and her husband for more than three decades lived in Trumbull, Connecticut, and, together, they were “proud parents” of two daughters in their late 20s. Her website listed her interests as gardening, reading and going to the theater.

Victoria Soto, 27

Soto, a first-grade teacher at Sandy Hook Elementary, moved her students away from the classroom door when she heard gunfire, which students initially “thought were hammers falling,” according to the father of one of her students.

“That’s when the gunman burst in, did not say a word, no facial expressions, and proceeded to shoot their teacher,” said Robert Licata, whose 6-year-old son, Aiden, escaped by running past the shooter.

Soto’s mother said her daughter was selfless.

“She would not hesitate to think to save anyone else before herself and especially children. She loved them more than life, and she would definitely put herself in front of them any day,” Donna Soto told CNN’s Piers Morgan.

Soto wanted to be a teacher since she was 3 and talked about her students with “such fondness and caring,” her mother said.

Soto’s cousin, James Wiltsie, said Soto “instinctively went into action when a monster came into her classroom and tried to protect the kids that she loved so much.”

“We just want the public to know that Vicki was a hero,” he said.

Soto had a dog she loved. The black lab Roxie spent Saturday wandering around Soto’s apartment, apparently looking for her, relatives said.

Other victims

Daniel Barden, 7; Josephine Gay, 7; Madeleine Hsu, 6; Catherine Hubbard, 6; Chase Kowalski, 7; James Mattioli, 6; Jack Pinto, 6; Caroline Previdi, 6; Avielle Richman, 6; Benjamin Wheeler, 6; Allison Wyatt, 6.

3 Responses to “Who Can Remain Quiet?”

  1. Gayle Jordan says:

    so much hurt….xoxox

    • suezquesteen says:

      Any time there is tragedy, there is so much hurt. As I read the descriptions of the women and children, I was stricken with how many of us can hear a description of our own children in those words. Guns and God are great, but I think so much starts with people being willing to put in time to make a difference, you know?

  2. Ginger Demonbreun says:

    Well said, Susan!! Love You!!

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Thoughts to Encourage

Joy is the will which labors, which overcomes obstacles, which knows triumph.~ William Butler Yeats

Whether you think you can or think you can’t you’re right. - Henry Ford

The best way out is always through. ~ Robert Frost

Real difficulties can be overcome, it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable. ~ Theodore N. Vail

Success consists of getting up just one more time than you fall. ~ Oliver Goldsmith

You must be the change you want to see in the world. - Mahatma Gandhi

Nothing helps like a good nap…

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A Dog is Faithful…